"It's · easy · to · forget · what · was · precious · amidst · all · the · disaster."

sadly i am missing out on cornerstone this weekend with jacob and derek but i just really could not afford to take off of work for an entire week. i feel like jacob and i had major role reversal going on usually i am the one wanting to go on roadtrips and hes usually the one saying he can't afford it. whatever as cool as it would be to see copeland and owl city im kind of glad im gonna be home for fourth of july. this week im going to be working on re-reading harry potter and the halfblood prince before the movie comes out in two weeks and also probably gonna buy the last scott pilgrim and finally read that. madison was decent, as decent as it possibily could have been, i slept so much and then when i got home all i did was sleep. it was very unusual. i hate when people want to talk on long car rides, seriously its exhausting all i want to do in the car is listen to music and relax not carry on long conversations about gossip, in fact thats the last thing i'd rather do in the entire world i think, i declared myself a gossip free zone on the way to madison and told steve that anything he had to say that was not about himself did not really concern me and that i didn't want to know, after he had already mentioned something about sam and victoria moving into together i told him i did not care for him to continue because anything he has to say is either gonna make me upset and besides that is really none of my buisness.

seriously bad things happen in threes the universe keeps proving this to me.


"Back to where we started,
Losing who we were,
Maybe we should only
Tip a bottle back to keep us filled up.
Back to where we started,
Losing who we were,
Everybody knows that
You’d break your neck to keep your chin up"

The past week has been pretty good. I've been hanging out with Brian a lot and I have no idea how I feel about anything which most likely means I feel nothing which most likely is a bad sign, meh whatever my new goal after the jacob thing is not to overanalyze things and make them into something they are not. I honestly don't know if Brian and I can ever have a normal functional relationship because I expect way to much from people and I am not willing to settle. The other day Jacob and I went to summerfest from 2-11:30 and I honestly had the most fun i've ever had at summerfest usually i'm with people who complain all day and it gets boring so quickly but everyone I was with stayed pretty positive during the duration of the day including myself. Jacob, Cara and I spent the majority of the day watching terrible bands and eating shit tons of free honeycombs&combos. And best of all it was freeeeee. This morning when I was leaving brians I basically turned retarded I woke up and couldnt find my shirt or my shoes so I woke him up and then I couldnt get his door open so I made him do it then I went all the way downstairs and realized I forgot my phone upstairs so I had to repeat the cycle. I felt sooo dumb. I have no plans for fourth of July yet but i'm hoping stuff will just fall into place, I have off for that weekend so I hope I find something cool to do. I saw transformers last night and it was absolutely ridiculous, so perfectly bad I loved every second of it and cannot wait to see it ten more times. Anna Paquins hair being blonde is inspiring me to grow out my natural color. She is just the perfect women. Amy and I went into this dagger store recently and I basically died of laughter holy shit, I ended up walking out of there with two really crazy knives and a dragon bowl. ridicuulllooouuussss. Im going to madison tonight for a wedding steve roche, its probably going to be terrible im exhausted because I didn't sleep at all last night so hopefully everything goes well. anyways lifes pretty boring june is going really fast. the end.

I spent all weekend at Brians house basically doing nothing with my life and the portion of time where I wasn't doing nothing, I was well doing nothing by watching Buffy the Vampire slayer season two. I've moved on to season three, I miss how they used to show reruns on FX in the afternoon because that's what I did everyday of my life I would get off of school and at 4 watch Buffy, watching stuff on dvd just isn't the same because you don't have to wait for it and theres nothing to get excited about because I can just watch it anytime I want. The only real upside is the no commerical factors, which I kind of like commericals because they give me time to get up and make food or change the laundry over or go on here and complain. ha. Anyways I officially have taken off september 2nd through the 7th. my birthday week, it's going to be perfect, I mean truthfully I could care less about the me being born factor but I am going to Ohio that week to see blink 182 and then I get to see HaveHeart in the same week. its going to be amazing and i'm going to be with five people I know and trust and love, I just have not felt this excited about something in a while, hopefully people don't flake out because I will just be devastated.